So, I've posted these two pics before. It's a shot of my wife and I posing together on the roof top of the William Oliver building with our top floor loft at the Metropolitan directly behind us. The only reason these pics are interesting is that we'd only been dating a month when the first shot was taken and had no idea that we'd not only eventually marry, but our future home was looming over our shoulders as our very first photo as a couple was taken. I always loved that story. It was one of a thousand reasons that I always believed we were meant to be.
This morning our divorce was finalized. We had to be at the court house by nine a.m. and the entire proceedings took all of ten minutes.
Eighteen years and ten minutes.
Afterward, we walked to our cars and talked on the sidewalk. We hugged and I asked if she was okay and she said yes. She asked if I was okay and I said yes, but the thing I kept thinking about was all of the stories. I mean, we're done. No question. But you can't spend eighteen years in anyone's company without racking up a crazy amount of stories. Most of them good ones. I'm glad we decide to end things, but I'm still wrapping my brain around the concept of not being with the person I shared so many adventures with.
It is what it is though, and I'm fine.
So, since I moved out, I've been casually dating. Not looking for anything or anyone in particular. Just carefully dipping my toes back in the water. One woman in particular is an old friend who I'd lost track of over the years. She's beautiful and smart and I thought we might get along, so I asked her out. We went out off and on for a few weeks and I saw pretty quickly that, despite her distracting hotness, this thing didn't have any legs. The first problem is that she has a three and a half year old daughter (the father died of a surprise massive heart attack at 35) who would very much like a new Daddy. I'm sorry but, any man should feel honored to get to fulfill that role for such a charming child, but the guy who is still wobbling his way out of an eighteen year boxing match is just not qualified.
The second problem is that I saw pretty early on that we're just not a good fit and could also see that she's the type that would happily ignore that fact to get what she wants. In short(a mistake I've made myself more than once), the sex was good, but the conversations were awful. I kept seeing her casually because frankly, I've been lonely and well...you know. Men are stupid. I've known that I was going to have to end it, but was dreading having to do it.
She sent me a text today asking about the proceedings. I responded that it was all done, and would she like to help me celebrate. We agreed to meet for a late dinner at Rosebud. I actually was feeling celebratory, which for me requires oysters, a steak and a really good martini. She knew the restaurant and seemed excited to help me celebrate.
Anyway, we greeted each other at the restaurant with warm embraces, knowing grins and mutual concern for each other's days. We shared a dozen oysters and two Ceasar salads before entrees. We exchanged electrically charged, sly innuendo regarding whatever the evening might bring after dinner, back at my place...
My night of newly liberated celebration seemed to be going my way.
Then, for whatever reason, we got on to politics. She doesn't consider herself a Republican, but rather a Libertarian and doesn't want to hear my arguments about Libertarians spawning the Tea Party. She claims to hate Obama and can't understand why I like him. The only point we seem to agree on is the fact that we both believe the system is broken. She won't hear any reason regarding Obama and pretty soon we're arguing.
Our server drops the check and she gets up and tells me goodnight.
I said good night watched her leave, cross the street to her car and drive off. I filled out the tab ($165.00) and thought, "Cheapest breakup ever."
Driving home I mused..."So this is what it's going to be like now..."